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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Love In The Distance



    My love story happens to be my favorite. I met him on the internet; he was an administrator of one of my favorite fan pages. We became best friends, and I slowly fell in love with his charming personality, his random jokes, and his sweet nature. The day he asked me to be his girlfriend was one of the best of my life. However, we definitely have a unique set of challenges we face every day as a couple. Getting to know each other and spending time together is a bit harder when he's in Texas and I'm in California. The majority of my friends and family think it can't work, but if you know what to do, long distance can be just as fulfilling as "normal" relationships. Here's a few tips on how we survive the distance. 
     Do things at the same time. Try seeing a movie at the same show time (make sure to adjust time zones), reading the same book, or making the same meal on the same night. Having connections like this to one another brings you closer. It also gives you things to talk about and discuss. "Did you like that part in the movie when...?" "I disagreed with this chapter in the book." "Did your food turn out as good as mine?" There's even things online you can do together. If you're gamers, you know that most modern consoles can connect to the internet, and with XBox live, you can even talk to one another as you play. Some smart phone apps let you challenge one another as well. 
     Send packages and letters. For Valentine's Day, my boyfriend sent me one of his shirts that smelled strongly of him. I still sleep in it most nights even though his smell has long been washed away. The feeling of holding or wearing something from your special someone is amazing. Knowing that their hand brushed across that letter or that they once wore the shirt you're wearing helps close the physical gap in ways you wouldn't expect. Sending gifts via snail mail will be that much more special if you hand make the gift. Tap into your creative side; paint a picture, knit a scarf, or you might even try baking cookies! 
     Skype. Making use of this free and reliable feature of the internet will become the heart and soul of your relationship, I can almost guarantee it. It might be awkward at first, just like the first few dates might be awkward. But eventually, it will become easier and more natural to talk over Skype. As time goes on, it might be fun to just set up your computer, turn on Skype, and do every day things like cleaning or playing video games. My boyfriend and I often like to play fighting games together as we Skype so we can trash talk each other. 
     Don't let family and friend's judgment get you down. I can't number how many negative comments and reactions I've gotten when I talk about how I'm dating someone two states away. The truth of it is, long distance relationships are still a new concept. I'd be willing to bet that in a few years, a significant rise in long distance relationships will occur. But for now, you have to understand that few people will be open and accepting of this idea. It's at times like these your relationship will be most tested, and you'll have to ask yourself if the other person is truly worth it. It helps to find a few friends, perhaps your parents if you're so lucky, who support your relationship and will offer you a shoulder to cry on when things get tough. 
     As long as you're creative, patient, and trustworthy, long distance dating can be a fresh alternative to conventional dating. The new experiences, the way you do things together, and the satisfaction of getting off the plane and embracing your loved one for the first time makes things fulfilling and exciting. It definitely has it's drawbacks and it's hardships, but if you're willing to put in the extra effort, long distance relationships can survive and help you grow closer to someone you love.  

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