True Modesty

I recently read a blog post about modesty that I almost completely disagreed with. Modesty is a touchy subject, but it's one I think needs to be addressed more and spoken honestly about. I'll start: I'm not some super modest, perfect girl. I've never been, and I never will. What someone else defines as modest might not be what I define as modest, and what you think about the topic isn't going to line up with what I think.

I've begun to hear an excuse from Christian girls about modesty that goes something like this: "It's not my fault the guys can't control their sexual desires!" Really? Really. Maybe the reason they can't control themselves is because you come to church dressed like that. If you wave meat in front of a hungry dog, he's going to want it. It's completely natural for a guy to see a pretty girl and have those kinds of thoughts. It's natural for girls too! You can't blame someone else to get away with something, that's not how it works.

One of the things that I struggle with the most about being modest is the ability to wear what I want to wear. Sometimes it makes me angry that I can't wear a certain dress or shirt because it's too tight or too low. How am I supposed to express myself if I have to be modest? But you know what? This is also a stupid excuse. Using what you wear to express yourself is the most shallow excuse I could make. Do I really need a low cut top to determine who I am? Does my skirt need to be up to my buttocks to let people know what kind of person I am? And what exactly am I expressing when I wear that sort of stuff? You let your personality show through with the way you talk, the way you act, and the way you treat others, not through the way you dress. Although your clothes can be a big factor in expressing yourself, make sure they're actually expressing what you want.

It's dangerous to make excuses as to why you don't have to follow certain rules. Blaming it on the guys or saying you can't express yourself to wear whatever you want to wear is only going to make things worse. When you get dressed in the morning, take a few spins in front of the mirror and truly ask yourself who you are and what you're trying to say with what you're wearing. Think about your male friends and not just about yourself.